My mother called me early one morning quite upset. My father, who will be 71 in June, is still working full time and he works out in a gym before work many mornings. That morning he called her from his car after his work out and said that he wasn’t going to the office, which is highly unusual for my workaholic father. He didn’t want to alarm her, but she needed to know. After his work out, he was in the showers and he looked down and noticed his feet looked unusual. Not swollen, but like they were extremely bruised and discolored. His legs were fine from above his ankles. He was afraid it might be vascular.

Two years ago my father had a stent put in his leg to open an artery and he’s had some trouble w/ High blood pressure. He even had an Echo scheduled the next week for a follow up on some of these issues. Despite all this, my Dad appears very healthy, LOVES his job and travels the world extensively with my mother. I always say that I hope to have their energy when I’m 40!

So, Mom calls me that morning to tell me she’s not doing her usual water aerobics and luncheon with her friends today because she was staying by the phone waiting for my Dad to call. I was scared, given his heart troubles in the past, that this was a sign of something going terribly wrong. What would cause bruising and discoloration so badly from the ankles down to the toes? My mom spent her time waiting to hear from my dad researching her Merck Manual and any other medical books for possible insight on the problem. I was going to post for prayers and to see if anyone was familiar with these symptoms? It was a long morning.

A few hours later, my Mom called with the news. Her voice was shaking. She said she’s going to kill my father or divorce him, even though they’ll be celebrating their 50th anniversary this June. She said he deserves punishment considering what he put her through this morning! At first, I was thinking that she was mad at my Dad because he didn’t go to the doctors and never bothered to call and tell her. Then I realized my mom was crying because she was laughing so hard! Dad did go to the doctors. He was taken immediately back to a room with a nurse who told him to take off his socks and shoes so she could have a look at his "bruising" before the doctor got in the room. The nurse was able to diagnose the problem. Wanna know what causes discoloration from the ankles down: Self-Tanning Lotion.

My parents had recently returned from 10 days at a Palms Springs resort. When they arrived back in Washington, DC, my father’s luggage was run over at the airport when it fell off the luggage truck. Everything in his luggage was smashed, including a bottle of self-tanning lotion. I guess Dad didn’t realize that a clean pair of his socks must have come in contact, unbeknownst to him, with the self-tanning lotion. When he unpacked, he didn’t realize they needed to be washed. So, my Dad wore the tainted socks and inadvertently TANNED his feet while he was working out! He’s back at work with the tannest feet in the office!

I can’t believe I almost started a prayer chain for my Dad, when all he did was tan his toes. A week later, I was able to visit my parents and my father's condition was still the same: TAN FEET, LOLOLOL! Can you imagine where this story would’ve gone had it been his underwear that got tainted!