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Someone recently sent me an email with a recipe for homemade dog biscuits. While it's a nice thought, I just can't imagine
doing it for our dog. He's a total outdoor dog; it would be like taking the Brawny Man to the Ballet. In fact, our dog
already makes his own biscuits:
Bear's Biscuits
1 headless bunny from yard
1 family of Mole
babies
several laps of mud water
one sniff of the neighbor's dog's butt
1 dying sparrow
1
32 gallon storage container of dog food knocked over
No bowl or utensils required for recipe. DO NOT preheat
oven. First capture a helpless bunny that DARES to cross your yard. Rip off his head and eat. Leave body
for family to find. No Easter this year, kids. Dig up helpless mole babies. Chase away the devastated Mole Mommy and Daddy
and eat all of the babies. Do not leave any remains for the family to see (or for the turkey vultures to finish). Follow this
with muddy water by shed. Several Laps should wash down Mole and Rabbit taste well. This should also help to clear nasal
passages for a good BUTT sniffing when neighbor's dog runs through yard. Chase a sparrow until you break one wing and
torture it for a while until you leave it to die in the yard. Go on porch and knock over container of Dog Food and eat
until you puke. Repeat (may substitute Ground Hog for Bunny and Squirrel for Moles). Floss with stick, if desired.
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